[FLPPSUNK]
Your wedding is the happiest day of your life no ? Well , what is it then ?
WMN: FLP_52
Dialogue: FLP
[FLPPS000]
Getting married is something that most Scottish women do at least once in their lives , and most Scottish men , which means that most of us have planned a wedding and that 's what we 're talking about tonight , weddings . Where you have them , who comes , what you wear , what you do , what it costs , and what you think about it later . Now , if like me you 've yet to attempt this big production number you could pick up a few tips here , after all , we 've a number of professionals in this hundred , hoteliers , dressmakers , cake makers , photographers , and video makers , registrars , ministers , but above all , we have a lot ex-brides here , and let's start off by finding how many we have . Have you been a bride ? Button one for yes , and button two for no . And , in this hundred we have sixty nine er ex-brides thirty one still to make the leap . Now wo er erm , I ca n't ask you whether it was the happiest day of your life because only sixty nine of you would know . We well was it ?
[FLPPS001]
It 's the only day , really in a women 's life where everybody at her and she 's made to feel like the most special person on this earth , so I 'd highly recommend it .
[FLPPS000]
Was that your experience ?
[FLPPS001]
Yes it was , yeah . You 're the only person there wearing the ball gown , you 're the only person there getting their photograph taken a hundred times over
[FLPPSUNK]
[FLPPS001]
so you 're made to feel the most special person on the earth and I think that makes it worth it for a lot of them .
[FLPPS000]
Did you like it so much you you 'd you 'd you 'd do you would do it again ?
[FLPPSUNK]
[FLPPS001]
Possibly not , no !
[FLPPS000]
But it worked ? I mean , for you that big day , cos I mean it is , it 's a , it 's a nerve wracking occasion is n't it ?
[FLPPS001]
Yeah , it 's it 's it 's the build up to it as well , there 's a lot of excitement , I mean , most people it takes about six months to build up to the big day , and then finally it 's there and it all happens and , I think that makes it a lot , exciting for a lot of women .
[FLPPS000]
Now , was that the the experience of the , of the other sixty eight of you ex-wives ? Yes ?
[FLPPS002]
I think a lot of people get carried away with the occasion and it 's actually supposed to be a very romantic day , and , you know , that 's what it was for me .
[FLPPS000]
So it was everything you hoped it would be ?
[FLPPS002]
Yes . But I think people do get carried away with traditions and the occasion and this grand affair and really , it could be a very small low-key affair , but it 's , it 's meant to be a very romantic special day for two people .
[FLPPS000]
Yes ? Behind you .
[FLPPS003]
I I think erm i it seems very sad if we can single out one day to be the most important in our lives .
[FLPPS000]
Mm .
[FLPPS003]
And it 's a very special thing if you 're going to join forces with another person , and good luck to you , but I think erm it seems that , there maybe down forever after that , if it 's the most important day !
[FLPPSUNK]
[FLPPS000]
Er , have you been a bride ?
[FLPPS003]
Yes I have . I 've actually been a bride twice actually !
[FLPPS000]
Aha .
[FLPPS003]
Erm and , and very enjoyable days they were , but erm I think if I were to plan a big party , or an anniversary or something like that , and I 'd hope those would be jolly enjoyable days too .
[FLPPS000]
Mhm . Yes ?
[FLPPS004]
I would like to get married all over again , to to the same person I might add , but
[FLPPS000]
[FLPPS004]
so that I could actually enjoy it more this time because it 's in , so much of a blur when you get married the first time that you 're caught up with it and you do n't really see what happens , I would like to get married all over again .
[FLPPS000]
What did you do ?
[FLPPS004]
Well I was actually married in England because I 'm E , I 'm English , but one of guys , erm , for instance , he wore a kilt and he showed all the English what he wore under the kilt
[FLPPSUNK]
[FLPPS004]
and I missed it !
[FLPPSUNK]
[FLPPS004]
That , so I do n't know what a man wears under his kilt !
[FLPPS000]
I , oh I ca n't believe that !
[FLPPSUNK]
[FLPPS005]
Well , I have n't been married but I have , did recently graduate , and that was a very important day for me
[FLPPS000]
Yeah .
[FLPPS005]
and , personally , I 'd much rather have er , people looking at me for what I achieved er , rather than just looking pretty on a day , I think that 's more important to me .
[FLPPS000]
Sian you 're a florist
[FLPPS006]
Yes .
[FLPPS000]
now , er supposing weddings disappeared would that affect your business ?
[FLPPS006]
Weddings are a very important part , and a part that er , we all enjoy but erm we , I would n't say it was the major part of a florist 's business , there 's quite a few other aspects . As a florist you 're dealing with most important days in peoples ' lives , very often new babies , weddings , funerals , erm but no , I would n't say if weddings disappeared we 'd all be you know , in a terrible mess as a professionals , but it 's a very important part and an enjoyable part .
[FLPPS000]
Fiona , what about you ?
[FLPPS007]
It 's the same for us really , it 's not the main part of the business
[FLPPS000]
Well you better say what your business is .
[FLPPS007]
in cake decorating and associated things , people have cakes for all occasions and erm wedding cake 's only one of them . But erm again , it 's it 's good fun , kind of a good laugh with the wedding cake , at least with a wedding cake you 're spending money and you 're getting fed and everybody 's getting a bit of it !
[FLPPSUNK]
[FLPPS000]
And do you do a er , do as far as the cake goes , I mean er , is there a variety in er in the option ?
[FLPPS007]
Oh certainly ! Yes , yes . I mean you we , we have made , you know , black wedding cakes for people that feel , something like that , we 've even made divorce cakes , so you do n't have to get married to have one !
[FLPPSUNK]
[FLPPS000]
What , what , what , what 's a divorce cake look like ?
[FLPPS007]
Mm .
[FLPPSUNK]
[FLPPS007]
We had a bo , a broken heart
[FLPPS000]
A broken heart , aha .
[FLPPS007]
with sort of a trail of red blood coming out the middle !
[FLPPS000]
Oh !
[FLPPSUNK]
[FLPPS007]
[FLPPS000]
Roberta if weddings disappeared a large part of your business wou would go would n't it ?
[FLPPS008]
Again , I think , like the rest erm
[FLPPS000]
Mhm .
[FLPPS008]
we evolved from the general fashion side , which is still as important to us , but the reason that we did probably evolve in in the the wedding side is because of th the need for us , it was n't us who pushed it from our end , more and more brides came to us , so therefore we grew .
[FLPPS000]
Mm .
[FLPPS008]
Sort of
[FLPPSUNK]
My wedding was n't an ordinary wedding , I was married on top of Arthur 's Seat and erm
[FLPPS000]
You were married on top of Arthur 's Seat
[FLPPSUNK]
Yes , at sunrise on Christmas Eve four years ago and , it was important for us to do exactly what we wanted because erm it was a second wedding for both of us and it was also erm we wanted to have something that represented sort of the aspirations of love and so , sunrise erm , and on the top of a hill did that for us . And , if you can find a minister that 's willing to go wherever you want to go !
[FLPPSUNK]
[FLPPSUNK]
In Scotland you can , can do almost anything .
[FLPPS000]
Are n't you a minister yourself ?
[FLPPSUNK]
Yes .
[FLPPS000]
So have you , have you performed any un unconventional weddings ?
[FLPPSUNK]
Yes , erm well I I 've not done a wedding in a church actually yet , but then I 've only done three weddings , and , but the most interesting one was in a Brock in Glenelg and erm , that was quite exciting because the couple really thought about the service and they had selected that sight because it meant something to them , and involved the whole community and thereabout , and it was great !
[FLPPS000]
Mm . Do you mind if I ask you about , about your own wedding o on the top of Arthur 's Seat on Christmas Eve four
[FLPPSUNK]
Mhm .
[FLPPS000]
well Christmas eve was it ?
[FLPPSUNK]
Yes , Christmas eve , well
[FLPPS000]
Did you have many guests at sunrise ?
[FLPPSUNK]
Well we , we had about sixty erm , people that trudged up to the top of the hill including erm , one who did n't know there was a wedding , he was a runner , and then he
[FLPPSUNK]
[FLPPSUNK]
and he had tagged the top of Arthur 's Seat and was astonished to see a crowd there .
[FLPPS000]
What do you wear to a mountain top wedding in the middle of winter ?
[FLPPSUNK]
Well you wear an anorak and a woollen skirt and walking shoes .
[FLPPS000]
Is that the most unusual wedding we have in this hundred tonight ? I mean , has e , ye yes , yes it seems so , yes !
[FLPPSUNK]
[FLPPS000]
No ones , no ones gon na do anything crazier than that ! You touched on church weddings , now lots and lots of people do get married in church , although many of them are n't er are n't necessarily church-goers , now Chrissie , can I , can I pick on you ? You perfo yo as a Church of Scotland minister
[FLPPS000]
Aha .
[FLPPS000]
you perform weddings ?
[FLPPS000]
Yup !
[FLPPS000]
If people are n't church-goers do you , will you still give them a church wedding ?
[FLPPS000]
Yes .
[FLPPS000]
Why ? Cos not all ministers will will they ?
[FLPPS000]
Well I think it gives them a link with the church , erm and they do n't just come in and say oh yes , turn up on Saturday and you 'll get married , there 's some meeting before that
[FLPPS000]
Mhm .
[FLPPS000]
so that we do n't all meet as strangers on the day .
[FLPPS001]
We found that a lot of young couples that because you do n't go to church on a regular basis but erm , to go along with their parents ' wishes too , rather than going through a big church wedding in a church , they go to a hotel and they have the erm , wedding ceremony and the reception all in the hotel , and are married by a minister . And that
[FLPPS000]
So there had to be
[FLPPS001]
Yes .
[FLPPS000]
A minister will go out to a ho hotel .
[FLPPS001]
[UNCLEAR] Yeah .
[FLPPS000]
Have you done that Chrissie ? Have you ever
[FLPPS000]
Yeah I have . Erm , I do n't like it er , not for particularly any religious reason but for the fact that the church is purpose-built for weddings and a lot of hotels are n't , so you get the girl with the ball gown , spent hundreds on it , and she 's squeezed up sometimes and nobody can see her ! But erm I prefer to marry in the church .
[FLPPS000]
Angela ?
[FLPPS002]
We were married at home , and one of the reasons why is because we bought a very old house about three years ago and on the top floor it has a , a large room which used to be the ballroom , and we did a little research and we found that the last wedding that we know of in the house took place in seventeen fifty eight , when apparently it was very common in Scotland to get married at home , it was more uncommon to go to church .
[FLPPS000]
Mm .
[FLPPS002]
We did some more research and we found out that in return for doing this you had to pay the minister a fine , so we found a minister who was very excited by the idea of marrying us in a seventeen century house , and in fact , on the morning of the wedding he was more worried about what he was wearing than what I was !
[FLPPSUNK]
[FLPPS002]
And erm , it wa , at the reception afterwards we actually paid him the fine er , a contribution to a a , a fund his church had for a painting they wanted to buy .
[FLPPS000]
They pay the minister a fine ?
[FLPPS002]
Yes .
[FLPPS000]
But it 's not convention of course , to pay the minister anything is it ? I mean , Church of Scotland Ministers do n't get paid .
[FLPPS000]
No .
[FLPPS000]
Er , it 's different in other churches I think .
[FLPPS000]
Some , I think some people sometimes give a gift , I 've never , I do n't think I 've had a gift !
[FLPPSUNK]
[FLPPS000]
Mhm .
[FLPPS003]
I 'd been , a few weeks ago I 'd been to a wedding , and it was the most boring
[FLPPSUNK]
[FLPPS003]
ceremony I ever been in all my life ! I get married about eleven years ago , it was four of us , me and my , the groom and two witnesses . It was a special day but every day of my life it 's a special so it 's nothing , I would not do it again , you know , just to [UNCLEAR]
[FLPPSUNK]
[FLPPS003]
but er , I think most of the time the wedding in here is much more geared for how the bride look like and photographer , it is all the time for four hours , how you stand , it 's nothing normal , noth nothing natural , nothing
[FLPPS000]
Mhm .
[FLPPS003]
nothing happy , you ju just to stand there , you ca n't laugh properly and you ca n't do this , and you ca n't do this , it 's worse
[FLPPS000]
So you think people are forced into conventional modes because they fe
[FLPPS003]
It was awful !
[FLPPS004]
How often do we , we really feel that the bride and groom are the people who make the choice ?
[FLPPSUNK]
Mm .
[FLPPS004]
Is it not the parents
[FLPPS000]
Mm .
[FLPPS004]
who are inclined to impose their choice on the bride and groom in a lot of cases ?
[FLPPS000]
Is , was that your experience ?
[FLPPS004]
Not me personally but I have known a few people who 've wanted perhaps , a very quiet wedding , just in a registry office , and finished up with a large church wedding .
[FLPPS000]
Mm .
[FLPPS005]
You talk about Brides ' magazines , or any of the other magazines that are there , it 's all set out , it 's all hyped up and , I think a lot of people feel they ha , really have to get married in that way .
[FLPPS000]
Hannah ?
[FLPPS006]
I was just going to say that being a photographer , we find that more and more people come with their mothers instead of the fiance whenever they 're going to get married , and it is all the time , the mother has a big say in it you know , instead of the couple .
[FLPPS000]
Well now , there must be some mothers here who er
[FLPPSUNK]
[FLPPS000]
Any mothers who 've married off their daughters in this dictatorial way , saying you must have this dress ! You must allow
[FLPPSUNK]
No .
[FLPPS000]
to spend seven thousand pounds on you ! Yes ?
[FLPPS007]
Expectations just went too far ! For instance , I mean er my boyfriend , excuse me , I 've been er living with him for years , and I have a child . Now I was at a wedding a little while back and all they were asking me was are you gon na be the next one ? Are you gon na be the next one ? It 's like , I 've already been asked , and I 've refused , and I want to know why is it people put so much pressure on you to get married ? For instance , in the hospital they were calling me Mrs , because er the stigma er , is so much , and I mean er , I even get called a single parent and I 'm not ! I have a very stable relationship , and also with my child , and I know that it would be very difficult for us to split up , but I do n't see why a bit of paper or a lovely ball gown , or a nice cake , will make it any better for me at all ?
[FLPPS000]
You 're not
[FLPPS007]
No ! I just
[FLPPS008]
But what about the child ?
[FLPPS007]
Th er , well for instance er , the child has took his name , I mean er you know
[FLPPS008]
But why can he take his name when he 's your child and you have n't different names ?
[FLPPS007]
It does n't matter because I I love him so much ?
[FLPPS008]
What about the child though ?
[FLPPS007]
Well why should I have a pretty dress and a cake when it 's the love that 's there and not a piece of paper or a special day !
[FLPPS000]
Up there .
[FLPPSUNK]
Er I have a great sympathy for for that lady . I think I will be a very unconventional mother , and having two daughters of my own I am appalled by the cost that this is going to erm
[FLPPSUNK]
[FLPPSUNK]
involve ! Ah , if you 're to believe the press that it costs about seven thousand pounds for a wedding , an average cost for a wedding
[FLPPS000]
Mhm .
[FLPPSUNK]
I would far rather say , if I had the seven thousand pounds , say to both my daughters there you are dears , there 's the seven thousand pounds you decide how much of that you want for your wedding what is left over you keep , and it would be interesting to find out how much they then spent on their photographers , and on their cake , and the , the wedding cars etcetera .
[FLPPS000]
I would just to say , I think women , women are such victims of the fashion industry and I think there 's a lot more hype surrounding th the bride than there is surrounding the groom and er I think erm , you know th a lot more thought needs to go into the whole thing , there 's so much pressure on young people , particularly girls and there 's sa , so much idealism around the whole thing erm , and and there 's a lot of alternatives to marriage , you know , and this is discounted as th , the woman over there said , about being referred to as Mrs , particularly when you 're over a certain age if you 're not married .
[FLPPS000]
Have you had a wedding ?
[FLPPS000]
No . No . I 've managed to avoid it !
[FLPPS000]
Mm mm .
[FLPPS001]
I think it depends very much on the age of the people getting married
[FLPPS000]
Mhm .
[FLPPS001]
young people very commonly are escorted by their mothers and the thing is , the politics of the family and showing themselves to their friends , but more and more we 're dealing with people
[FLPPS000]
Now you 're a caterer ?
[FLPPS001]
I 'm a caterer .
[FLPPS000]
Yep .
[FLPPS001]
probably my age and , even a bit older , thirty , forty , getting married , sometimes a second time , and they say this is our party
[FLPPS000]
Mm .
[FLPPS001]
and they are not influenced , I do n't think , by a large amount of hype and fashion . And there , as someone else said , erm earlier , organizing their party , the day of their life which happens to be also their wedding day , and those sort of parties are far more fun to work at than the far more stilted family affairs that do happen for younger people .
[FLPPS002]
With regards about the lady that you 've the relationship , a stable relationship , not being married another lady pointed out , but what about the child ? Maybe get married and maybe not work out , then divorce , so what happens to the child then ?
[FLPPS000]
Mm .
[FLPPS002]
I do n't think it 's any different .
[FLPPS003]
I think we 've , we 've said quite a bit about erm previously about the symbolism of , of a wedding , if
[FLPPS000]
Mm .
[FLPPS003]
it 's a special day to you , you know getting married on the top of Arthur 's Seat or whatever , but what about for the majority of people who who have a church wedding and the symbolism there that just goes unstated . This whole thing of the bride being , well often not , but frogmarched down the aisle and being transferred from being her father 's property to being her husband 's property
[FLPPS000]
[FLPPS003]
and that being taken by , by taking his name ! You know , there 's a lot of symbolism that really has been lost , people do n't think about in the wedding service , but is underlying , you know , until fa fairly recently a lot of people promised to obey , erm , look at Prince Andrew and that when he got married , you know , erm , the Duchess of York actually promised to obey him
[FLPPS000]
That was her choice presumably .
[FLPPS003]
and what does that say for , what does say for women erm , and for the status of women in this country ?
[FLPPS000]
Well , in her case , presumably , she wanted to say she would obey him and and subsequently perhaps she has , and he 's very happy with that , but that 's a fairly cynical view is n't it , the the the bride 's a kind of ceremonial heifer , who 's had
[FLPPSUNK]
[FLPPS000]
in lace , in lace ? I mean does n't that
[FLPPS003]
But that , there is a lot of a symbolism there that people do n't seem to look at
[FLPPS000]
Mm .
[FLPPS003]
anymore , you know because it 's the nice ceremony and because it 's it 's a do .
[FLPPS000]
Yes ?
[FLPPS004]
Er , I vividly remember my , my wedding day , and the bit I remember most is actually waiting to go into church with my father , and I remember being particularly moved at that time thinking that that was the end of one era and about to become part of another and I did n't feel that I was being owned somebody and about to be owned by anyone else in the slightest !
[FLPPS000]
Mm .
[FLPPS005]
I think when you talk about symbolism of a wedding , in actual fact , what does a wedding say ? It says , very little about the practicalities of life . If people are going to prepare to spend the rest of their lives together , they should be discussing much more important things than concepts , like forever , they should be discussing , what happens if it 's splits up ? Which it statistically now , is quite often going to do . But surely , sitting down working out the legality of it , working out sensible practical things is a much more sensible way of proving you love somebody , and that you 're you 're genuine about it !
[FLPPS006]
But you 're not sensible when you 're in love ! You 're not sensible when you 're in love !
[FLPPS005]
Well maybe you should be sensible !
[FLPPS006]
[UNCLEAR] !
[FLPPS005]
Maybe that 's why so many children are products of broken , broken
[FLPPS006]
[UNCLEAR] !
[FLPPS005]
homes now !
[FLPPS007]
When you 're go into a marriage
[FLPPS000]
Mhm .
[FLPPS007]
go into a wedding , you go in believing that it is forever that 's it !
[FLPPS006]
That 's right !
[FLPPS007]
You take your vows , you commit yourself !
[FLPPS005]
But it usual , but nowadays it quite often
[FLPPS006]
But that 's why so many babies [UNCLEAR]
[FLPPS005]
is n't forever and people do n't think often enough
[FLPPS007]
That 's statistics , I mean there 's
[FLPPS005]
well maybe statistics are [UNCLEAR] .
[FLPPS007]
But if you have a wedding day , you are going in there saying I 'm going to live with this person for the rest of my life .
[FLPPSUNK]
Oh !
[FLPPSUNK]
Yeah .
[FLPPS007]
And you firmly believe that at the time !
[FLPPS000]
Up there . Yeah ?
[FLPPSUNK]
Er , I would like to know how much of the the , the , the thing about the bridal magazines and the whole idea of , of a wedding is portrayed and the media has an influence on a a young girl wanting to get married rather than the actual you know , th th , you know how much sh she knows the person , or loves the person , maybe it 's the , the whole image of the wedding that takes over , you know , erm rather than the , the , the practicalities .
[FLPPS000]
Well Moira , were you over influenced by the media , wanting to have that
[FLPPS000]
No .
[FLPPS000]
big day ?
[FLPPS000]
I lived with my husband for er , three and a half years , and I knew him for a good number of years before then , so we made a joint decision after that period of time that we were , wanted to commit ourselves
[FLPPS000]
Mm .
[FLPPS000]
and we looked on it more as a party and a family gathering and showing everybody else that we were now committed and we 're going to spend the rest of our lives together .
[FLPPS000]
Well there 's been some scepticism about the symbolism of , of weddings there 's also some scepticism about the reality of making that vow forever , er , which I personally have sympathy with cos I do n't see how you can say you 're going to do anything forever , but I suppose if you 've made a vow you 've got to stick with it . Is it possible to have a wedding ceremony that er , that dodges those rather difficult bits ? I mean , Chrissie , are you allowed to have a wedding ceremony tha tha which says erm I 'll love you for as long as I can possibly manage ?
[FLPPSUNK]
[FLPPS000]
I 've heard erm people saying , I think it was in America erm , as , as long as you both shall love instead of as long as you both shall live .
[FLPPS000]
Yes .
[FLPPS001]
If you get married in a registry office , which I did , you do n't say an , in England , you do n't say anything other than that you take this chap to be your husband , and you interpret that to be as you wish . So that 's , entirely up to the pair of you . I think that these inflated ideas perhaps come with the old language of the church , and if you 're going to do that well then , all hail to you and er presumably you mean it if you 've gone there .
[FLPPS000]
There are people who come from from different cultures amongst this hundred who might want to say something about erm , wedding ceremonies .
[FLPPS002]
I got married twenty three years ago in China , well , we just invite er , invited er our friends , and er former school mates to ma , to my home and we did n't make any vow , er we just gave a banquet to the friends , and er , in China people now can get married in many ways and er some foreigners have come to China to get married in a traditional Chinese way , and they have to er , carry their bride in a sedan chair .
[FLPPS000]
[FLPPS002]
And their bride has to wear er , all in red and er the bridegroo er groom has to wear a long costume with a red big flowers in front i aha and then they get married and there 's erm band , the Chinese traditional band with drums and trumpets blowing all the time and er , all the guests have a very nice time . And in China , usually , erm wedding is an important event in the family and an , when I got married I think my parents-in-law wo erm felt erm more excited than my husband and I !
[FLPPSUNK]
[FLPPS000]
Well that 's , tha I mean tha that 's , a pretty interesting description of er of a different kind of wedding , which is another one er another
[FLPPS003]
Well
[FLPPS000]
optional variation that you might
[FLPPS003]
well I got married in
[FLPPS000]
want to choose ? Yes ?
[FLPPS003]
Bu I meet a erm , a different oh , tribe in Saherli but I got married in England with my , though we make [UNCLEAR] , this , I 'd say , this man to be my wife forever , but when I got home , back home in Ingeria you know , we did it in a , a different way . We have er , my parents sat down with a the group of the family there
[FLPPS000]
Mm .
[FLPPS003]
you know , there 's no vow there , but all we do is join hands together , share blessings to both of us , and no vow , we never make any vow but they made a blessing for us . The marriage will be successful and this one it is .
[FLPPS000]
There .
[FLPPS004]
Well I 'd , , I come from Lebanon and I get married in here and I said the vows but I did n't understand , at that time I was n't speaking English so
[FLPPS000]
Oh ! Oh !
[FLPPSUNK]
[FLPPS000]
Oh yeah !
[FLPPSUNK]
[FLPPS000]
That 's one to remember , I did n't understand what I was saying ! Yes ?
[FLPPS005]
But in Lebanon we do n't have vows , they have like kind of contract , and if the if they broke the contract it 's the bride and groo , the groom have to pay that amount of money for the the bride , even if it was her fault .
[FLPPS003]
It happens in my country , when you break the marriage , I mean in my town , when you break th the marriage this sort of money will be paid wi then . Whe when you 're to make
[FLPPS000]
Mm .
[FLPPS003]
a er , but want to , want to do a wedding you pay a certain er amount of money then , then when you break the wedding you refund the money to your husband .
[FLPPSUNK]
[FLPPS000]
Yes , this is , this is , this er Who 's picking up Laura 's point which is that you get all the contractual arrangements er er done , but I mean it does n't mean you ca n't have the ritual , be it dressed with , you know , er a long
[FLPPS006]
But
[FLPPS000]
red dress with
[FLPPS006]
my my complaint is that mostly
[FLPPS000]
pom-poms for the groom or
[FLPPS006]
it 's , it 's the pomp and circumstance and and the fluffy lace and everybody being really happy and I know people think about it , but it 's not seen as that , it 's seen as a a , a family society thing , it 's not two people sitting
[FLPPS000]
Mm .
[FLPPS006]
down and saying right , we 're gon na buy a house , we 're gon na have kids , have we thought about how many kids we 're gon na have ? Have we thought about whether we want to have kids at all ? Maybe those are the questions we should asking , rather than you know , do you take this man for your husband .
[FLPPS000]
Mhm .
[FLPPS007]
When you come from a big family , as I do , erm yo you can have any size of wedding as long as the right people are there , anybody gets excluded it 's er to be horrendous !
[FLPPS000]
Mm .
[FLPPSUNK]
[FLPPS007]
Starts with you know , I have n't been invited why I 'm and if you 've got a big family , you really have to do it properly and it , it 's gon na cost !
[FLPPS000]
Well a variety of views and I think the only generalization I can make about weddings is that you ca n't generalize about weddings , some people think they 're wonderful , some people are sceptical , people have done their own er variations on weddings . I have n't really asked you very many questions so I 'll , I 'll ask you a question which sets us up for a programme we might do in the next series , having discussed the wedding , next the honeymoon ! Here 's the question . Is a honeymoon a good way to start a marriage ? Button one for yes , and button two for no . You do n't have to have had one to be able to comment on this . And , seventy seven people say yes , and twenty three people say no , and are n't you fascinated to know why they voted that way ? You 'll have to watch the next series . From us , here , goodnight .